My Journey Home
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine…
That song is going around and around in my head this morning. I notice two things instantly: that it’s a “little” light and that it’s my “choice” as to whether or not I let it shine.
I read the blogs that I had written in 2015 and can see that the light – joyous light – was radiating brightly. I was living within it fully and experiencing a miraculous shift as I chose my thoughts and my focus. I was ripe for the message that “our thoughts create our reality” and I was manifesting a better, brighter existence each and every day.
So, how did I go from there to here? There’s only one analogy that comes to mind: lights flicker. If you don’t tend to them, they die out. If the winds blow hard and there are no boundaries around, or worse yet, there is only dry timber, the flames can become an inferno and consume us. That is what happened to me. I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that the fires ravaged everything and I was left with charred ruins – not on the outside (thankfully), but definitely on the inside. The blackness was so real to me that I’ve even doubted the existence of God. How could a God allow (fill in the blanks)? 2020 has been even more brutal. Fear was winning – growing larger every day. And then…I certainly wouldn’t call it an epiphany, but a couple of things happened that set me on a better path.
First, I had spent the night dreaming that I was in the presence of a beautiful baby elephant, who despite being orphaned, was able to trust and seek joy again. His playfulness was permeating my being as I opened my eyes – yesterday – to a brand new day. Still floating in that feeling, I opened my laptop and found that Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey were offering another free 21-Day Meditation Series (go here for info: https://chopracentermeditation.com/) and I dove right in. No resistance. No hesitation. I was FINALLY able to breathe into the space between all the fear. I was FINALLY able to see that little light again. And FINALLY I was able to CHOOSE to let it shine. This was no easy task. I was battling some heavy fears yesterday. But, the light was calling (first with the baby elephant and then with Deepak) and I decided to answer. I could have made a choice to shut my computer and sit in fear. I could have put on the news and heard more about the pandemic to fuel my fear. I could have done a repeat of all the many things I have done in the past to keep myself in darkness, but instead I chose to embrace that little light and let it seep back in. And, so I wrote again. And my creativity poured forth with a beautiful poem. No struggle. No fear. Just choice. And peace. Finally…a little peace.
Choose wisely. Choose the light today…and EVERYDAY. Joyous Light.