My Journey Home
I’m beginning to realize that most of the decisions I have made in this lifetime have been made out of fear. As a trauma survivor, I’m told, that’s not unusual. While it may not be unusual, it is very annoying and has left me feeling a ton of regret. The “what ifs” swirl around my head with abandon and constantly pull my focus back to the past – a place I idealize and long for despite strong evidence that it was harmful to my spirit in a myriad of ways. The fear, the grief, threaten to consume me and I become moored in the darkness – feeling certain that staying still, frozen in place, is somehow safer than making yet another “bad” decision…because of course it would be bad…weren’t they all?
As I sit with these thoughts, it takes some time but I finally realize that I don’t need to repeat that pattern – and my spirit shifts. Yes, fear is attempting, yet again, to sabotage my future, but I’m onto him now. I will reach for a higher vibration on the Abraham Hicks scale. I like “contentment.” It’s about halfway up the chart, but it feels doable. I don’t need much to make me content. I can envision it very easily and believe with my entire being that contentment is possible for me. In fact, I am more content right now just thinking about it!
I’m thankful that I am able to draw upon this blog and all of its wisdom right now. It was written at a time when I was fully in the light, an experience that is so difficult to imagine for many, but so spectacular to behold when you are there. I will be there again. The roadmap has been written – all I need to do is to follow the light: iamjoyouslight